I know I can't be this for everyone, but this desire still swells within me. I do the most logical thing I can think to do, which is reach out to those people in some way, if I am in an emotionally stable place to do so.
But that never has the desired effect. The person still remains lonely or sad or upset. I wish there was a way that I could be in many different places for the people I care about (which is essentially every person I ever meet or come to know of in some way). I long to be able to be by their sides and providing whatever is needed to comfort them and bring them peace and happiness.
I might want to provide this for them because, when I read about it or hear them talk about it, I think of the times I have felt the feelings they are describing and I don't want them to have to endure that. Every person who has ever considered suicide, or attempted it, I know what that is like. Anyone who has felt lonely, having no one to share their sorrows or joys with, I've felt that too. I want you to know that I'm here and I am listening. I want you to know that I care and that I want to be someone you share with. I want you to know that I know what you're going through and that you don't have to go through it alone.
The only problem is that want is all on my side. I cannot make someone I want to be there for want me to be there for them. I may care for/about someone, but I can't ensure that they know of or understand the extent of my caring.
How can I be there for you if you don't know that I'm there for you, or if you need someone to physically be there for you and I cannot be physically where you are?
I don't know how to fix this dilemma, so I guess I'll just keep feeling a longing to fill the needs I feel I could possibly fill in other people's lives and keep trying to share that I'm here, I'm listening, and I care.
